


The Deadliest Sin Of Them All

by dainochild



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Gen, bungee gum - Freeform, sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5080501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dainochild/pseuds/dainochild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hisoka finds a new gang to infiltrate and a new leader to dream of fighting. Father finds a new son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Deadliest Sin Of Them All

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my meme squad on twitter xoxoxoxoxo i love you sinners

All of Father’s children were gathered together when the gay clown walked in. Though unlike his siblings his hair was vibrant red, it was more ridiculous than even Envy’s and his skin the same sunlight-deficiency pale as theirs. At first, they were surprised to see someone unfamiliar walk into their lair. Then their reactions became more individual: Envy wanted to kill the gay clown, Wrath wanted to kill the gay clown, Lust wanted to kill the gay clown, Pride wants to kill the gay clown, Gluttony wanted to eat the gay clown, Greed wanted to rob the gay clown and Sloth didn’t care about the gay clown at all. But Father? Father was curious.

“Who are you?” Father asked.

“Hisoka.”

“How is it you managed to find us?”

The gay clown struck a hip-emphasising pose and pointed a finger dramatically at Wrath. Something long, pink and glowing revealed itself, like a thread connecting the tip of the gay clown’s finger to Wrath’s shoulder. It didn’t appear to be a thread, though; the consistency was like nothing Father had ever seen in his years of research.

“This is my Bungee Gum,” Hisoka said, “it possesses the qualities of both rubber and gum.”

“What the fuck is rubber?! Or gum?!” Envy snarled. “Do you think we’re idiots?!”

“Hmm,” Hisoka sneered. “Is that a skort? How out-dated.”

“I’LL KILL YOU!” Envy screamed. “I’LL CRUSH YOU!”

“Envy,” Father warned. “My son, control your emotion. If you are envious of his hair, simply copy is hair and be done with it.”

Envy growled, but dared not displease his creator.

“Yes, _brother_ ,” Hisoka said. “After all, you wouldn’t want to hurt —” he ripped his stupid clown shirt off, revealing an ouroboros tattoo on his left shoulder, “— _your family_.”

Everybody stared. They did not, however, gasp dramatically, as such reactions are unbecoming of homunculi.

“You see, I was a homunculi all along,” Hisoka said.

“The singular is ‘homunculus’.”

“Noted,” Hisoka said. “I am glad to learn more about myself. You see, Father, when you purged your body of sin, I was born.”

“Yes, I know how to make homunculi,” Father replied. He eyed Hisoka. “But I intended only to purge the seven _deadly_ sins.”

“Ah, but you see, I am the secret sin that lurks in the heart of all men,” Hisoka explained. “I am the deadliest sin, so toxic my existence is a secret.”

“And this manifests in your, what did you call it, Bungee Gum?” Father asked, gesturing to the object in question.

“That’s right,” Hisoka replied. “You truly are an enlightened man, my father. I am glad to have found you.”

Father continued to stare at him. “Well. You certainly _look_ like a sin. I do not remember your birth, but I was quite drained, so I suppose… it may have slipped my attention…” Father nodded. “Yes. Yes. This is rational. My son, I am pleased to have you with me. Your Bungee Gum will aid us as we work towards the Promised Day.” He stood from his throne, holding his arms out to embrace his new son. Hisoka’s Bungee Gum disappeared, and he accepted the fatherly hug. “Welcome home.”

“Thank you,” Hisoka said.

Father patted him on the shoulder as he pulled away. “Now then. I shall turn off all alchemy in the city for an hour in celebration.”

He did. They threw a party as a new family, with apple pies stolen from a widow and everything.

In the corner, Hisoka chuckled to himself. Eyes locked on Father, he licked his lips, and thought so loudly it became almost audible, “Aah, Father, you are magnificent. Soon I will have you alone, and we will fight. I can hardly wait!”

**Author's Note:**

> someday there may be a sequel about the promised day  
> but it is not this day


End file.
